That's just a true statement. There's really no explanation needed, is there?
Complaining to someone chronically, listening to someone complain for hours on end, like I did yesterday, is verbally abusing them. Everyone has problems now and then, but creating relationships based on your need to complain to them is just toxic. People do it. I have a person who's interested in friendship who I'm about to give the heave-ho because this is what she did yesterday. I will tell her and I will tell her why. People think it's loving to listen to others' problems. It's not. It's abusive towards others to complain chronically. I use the time to understand how they plan on treating me in future and making an assessment of whether I want to be their friend or not. What about the listener? What do they get back from you? Complaining - holding the attention of another person for hours on end - is an attempt by an energy vampire to gain back the energy they're missing by not doing their inner work. Vampires have poor soul connection, and as a result, they vampire energy by using tactics like complaining for hours. The vampire will always focus outwards, never inwards. They know there is no energy there. So they hunt by either reeling in the unaware, or trying to change people in relationships to suit themselves. They manipulate, they use guilt to make you feel sorry for them, and they give nothing back for everything they have stolen from you. They are energy thieves. And believe me, there are many of them in this world.
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I can’t relate to a functional family so I don’t know if there is a power structure within functional, healthy families but I can tell you there certainly is in a dysfunctional one.
I’ll use my own as an example. The reason there are power structures is for the sake of vampiring energy. Children are a good source of energy because they’re not so damaged and energy blocked as adults are. So in the dysfunctional codependent family, there is a power over others structure in place. The higher energy ones (all people are not created equal, they should have equal rights, but some are of higher soul energy than others) are at the bottom of the food chain. The higher the food chain goes, the lower the energetic capacity of the family member. The higher you go, the more needy the member is. Middle energy members are in the middle ranks and since they possess less to give to the low energy dysfunctional parents, they are more coveted than their higher energy siblings and receive more positive attention from the parents. The higher energy siblings are used as food sources for energy vampiring parents, with chaotic scenarios created in order to rob these children of their precious life energy. They receive more of the negative energy of the parents in exchange for their positive life energy. They are literally being used as a food source and supporting the entire family energetically. People exchange energy all the time because we ARE energy. Matter is only energy slowed down enough to be able to be perceived as solid. We are energetic beings in reality, with much access to the higher energies of life – until we block it off by becoming dysfunctional. I have noticed my sister, who was in the middle ground, make strides in changing herself with seemingly little effort whereas for me, it took moving mountains to make the same progress. Why? I was one of the higher energy children who suffered from more vampiring attacks. In my family of 6, my parents were most dysfunctional (both narcissists) in need of energy to sustain them. They were also in control of the family to get their energetic needs met. My younger brother was the apple of their eye as he was the only boy who could carry on the family name, which is pure egotism. My older sister was next, in the middle. She tried to protect the other kids from my father’s rampages and for this she was abused, but otherwise didn’t suffer as much as we did. My mother also didn’t use her as a sounding board for all her complaints like she did me. At the bottom were me and my older autistic brother, who suffered the most abuse from my father. My older brother is very high energy like I am. Anyone out to victimize you is out to steal your energy. Humans are energetic beings and those who are controlling, dominating or manipulative are low on fuel and trying to top up by stealing your energy.
Everybody does it. No exceptions. It's why our system is structured the way it is, and why it's so fake. If everyone was using their own energy supply, then more people would be authentic and fewer would be energy vampires. This is the reason people want your attention : for an energy exchange. When the exchange is mutual and pleasant, that's great. But when the exchange is toxic, overbearing, domineering .... when there's a perpetrator and a victim - it's a toxic energy exchange and the victim is giving away energy unwillingly. The key to keeping your energy: don't react to bullies. Don't react to provocation. My father, a major energy vampire, used to laugh at me because he'd set me up to be upset all the time and I'd fall for it. Of course a kid is going to fall for it, but he didn't care. He had a perfect source of energy in me and he milked it whenever he needed to. Like I said, he'd set me up to become upset with him. Sometimes it took relatively little, like saying something he knew I'd react to, or laughing at me, or he would come home and explode in violent rages. Vampires tend to make everything about themselves. Nobody else matters. You're just a food source to them. This was all to take our energy because of course our focus was on him and as soon as that happens, you're giving someone your energy. He'd steal it in large amounts by making us fearful. Then he was quiet afterwards like nothing had happened. Completely calm but now we were nervous wrecks. Energy vampires know their victims and what sets them off. They study and they learn. This leads to two people engaging in repetitive, inauthentic relationships, enacting the same futile scenarios, experiencing the same emotions, exploding repetitively with anger, having fights, making up, having more fights, and then eventually breaking up when either one wises up or they both seek new energy sources. Their relationships often seem futile to me, but there is survival in what they're doing. The solution is to raise your vibration. Deal with negativity, such as if you feel like a victim you need to become assertive and more positive. This is one thing my mother and I went through over and over and over when I was younger.
My mother was extremely fearful and highly codependent. I wasn't. I was more of an explorer and eventually moved to England when I was 30 against my mother's will for me. She helped me get a mortgage on a home I didn't want, but I bought it because she wanted me to get it. Turns out this was because my brother needed a garage to work in when he came to visit in the summertime, and so they concocted a plan to sell the house to me without my knowing it, so that he could work there. One morning he showed up in my driveway and started working the garage as he'd always done before. After 5 years, I took matters into my own hands and sold the house, using the money to live in London England. This was during the times of the IRA bombings that I lived in London, and my mother was having conniptions fearing I would be killed in an IRA bombing. In fact the IRA was active for 25 years and there were only 115 deaths in all that time so the likelihood of them singling me out was pretty remote. In my mother's mind, this was a conceivable reality. My mother was terrified of having her kids grow up, for one thing, but then terrified of losing them which was her interpretation of our becoming adult - it had more to do with losing control over her energy source. I believe that her fear of feeling a normal range of emotions fed this fear, but the irony of that is that she lived with this anxiety always. Often people fear fear and this is what she was doing. This led to her being extremely controlling. Her inability to let go and let her children live led to a mass rebellion, which was initiated by me, of course. I was the inspiration for my siblings' standing up to my mother and her overwhelming fears which she tried to foist upon us by being extremely controlling of how we lived our lives. We'd all had enough of it. My mother alternated between extreme fear and being extremely demanding, controlling and manipulative. And this was for a couple reasons: she needed to control others in order to reduce her fears about them, and she needed to control others to gain an energy supply as hers was so depleted. She was a classic energy vampire and her vacillating between causing drama and chaos and then controlling us into erupting in fits was her way of replenishing the energy that was being taken primarily by my father. You can always tell who's the vampire and who's the victim when you see how people relate to one another. My father dominated my mother and she was submissive to him - he was the vampire and my mother was the victim. My mother tended to be the opposite with her kids - dominating and controlling us and so we were her victims. I sensed early on there was a definite pecking order in my family and it had to do with who was getting the most energy from the others. The two of highest energy were at the bottom of the heap. I was one of them and we supported the rest of the family energetically. My mother got a dog. And then a cat. They helped with her empty nest syndrome and helped to distract her from her fears, maybe even gave her some comfort, and they were her way of continuing to relate to my father who she only triangulated with. The pets became the focus of their conversations and the real issues went undealt with. Very sad. |
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