Who else would you be attracted to? People who can't or won't meet your needs. This is how you got to be a victim in the first place. For one reason or another, you associated and interrelated with someone(s) who wouldn't meet your needs.
As they say, "it's the devil you know." You have to move out of your comfort zone as a recovering victim, because your comfort zone is uncomfortable, frustrated, stressed out, victimized and unhappy. THAT is the devil you know. THAT is your comfort zone. I get people all the time who just start emailing me or texting me with their requests. They automatically assume I"m going to be happy to fulfill their needs and wants. People have limits. They have their own paths, they have their own work, they have their own priorities and time constraints. The way out of this problem of always going to people who won't meet your needs is first of all, to embrace the reality of life and understand that all people are not all things to everyone. People are limited in their physical capacities. And to be honest, listening to the woes of a victim is something many people don't want to do because they understand that it's a lifestyle for the victim, and once they start listening it will be uncomfortable for them to get out of it. You may not understand others but they may well understand chronic victimhood. The other way out of this problem is to ASK someone first of all if they would be available to you. It's that simple. Don't just send emails expecting support. Ask if the person would like to support you, if they're available and you will either get a "no, sorry" or they'll ask in what capacity and negotiate with you. People expect others to be there for them in unlimited capacities. Fact is, they can't be.
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AuthorI have lived this nightmare and have overcome being a victim. Archives
March 2020
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