I just looked at my messages on Facebook, something I don't normally do because I get a lot of hate mail. Sure enough, there was a message from "Facebook User" who bothered to message me to complain about the fact that my man calls me, "My Love" in the work we put out to the public. I have another type of work I do and I involve my partner in it.
They actually were rude enough to ask, "Is that really necessary?" I know there's something in this that's coming up for me and it's that I have to just say it this way: "Why do you think I care enough about you to, first of all acknowledge your complaint, and secondly to comply with what you want? Do you really think that I actually CARE about you or your complaint? There's a great book on assertiveness called, "When I say No I Feel Guilty." Author Manuel Smith goes through a list of the your rights and one of those rights is the right TO NOT CARE. Why people message me with petty, miserable complaints like this and expect me to stop it for their sakes, I have no idea. I guess they think that they matter enough to me to get me to comply, when in fact they don't. Because I just say, "I don't care!" and carry on with it. If you don't like it, don't view our work. You do have the right to not care. Obviously, there are things that you would do for people out of common decency, like not scratching their car, or going out of your way to make them miserable, or jeopardizing their life to any extent. That's just common decency. But thinking that you personally matter to a total stranger is certainly not realistic behaviour, even one whose work involves helping others. The way I see it is if you can't be decent with me, then I will just ignore your complaints. These days there's so much focus on being unconditionally loving, being nice to everybody. Well, that goes two ways, as I see it. I do reserve the right to have compassion for you however. To be that socially miserable, you'd have to be in a lot of pain.
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AuthorI have lived this nightmare and have overcome being a victim. Archives
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